Know your historical record

Historical record is important to me. I want to know why I have convulsion everytime I got a fever especially when I reach temperature of 38 degrees. Although I have all the medical records I still wanted to know to whom I inherit this curse.

Yes, for me, having convulsion is really a curse. Imagine, my parents did not allow me to play outside with my friends because they are afraid that if I get tired I will get sick that will lead to high fever and convulsion. I know that they are just worried and I can’t blame them but I missed half of my life because of this.

While my friends are busy playing Taguan, Tumbang-Preso and Langit at Lupa, I am crying because I feel so alone. Oh, my childhood memories are miserable. I always go to the hospital for my monthly check-up. I need to take pheno every night to combat this illness. If there are times that I forget to take medicine, I faint. So, until I graduated high school I have a yaya, just to make sure that I took phenol on time.

Now that I am 34 years old I am no longer experience to have a convulsion. But, will I be happy? Maybe yes but part of me is still suffering. Until now I can’t accept that I did not enjoy my youth.

I cannot change my past but because am a writer I want to make a story about my life. I can only succeed if I will know everything about me. So, my historical record will help me to understand why I gave convulsion.

When I asked my parents about historical background they say that my Grand Ma’s sister has this illness too. She also inherits it to her grandparents. It means this illness runs in our family.

But I feel lucky that my child did not inherit this curse. But, there is a possibility that our future generation will have this illness.